[WID0074] Guest Post by Tiffany: “What Does To Love Someone Mean To You?”

“What does to love someone mean to you?”

That was one of the first questions my therapist asked me. I don’t remember the exact answer I gave back then. But it was something in the line of: Showing respect, allowing someone to be completely themselves, taking care of someone, forgiving, respecting boundaries, being there for someone and so on.

She then proceeded to ask me to name a couple of people I love. I named a short list of people, but didn’t mention myself. When she pointed that out, I immediately burst into tears. I didn’t even think of myself when that question was asked. So it was clear what we had to work on.

In the follow up sessions we worked on childhood traumas, coping with anxiety, understanding my emotions, setting boundaries, beliefs etc. The sessions were so confronting and emotional, yet very clarifying. I got to know myself on a deeper level. Got to understand my emotions, how to deal with them and what they were trying to tell me. I learned to set boundaries and to put myself first. Which wasn’t easy, given the fact that I was a people-pleaser my entire life. I felt as if I was disappointing people or letting them down when I put myself first. And I did not like that feeling.

After ending my relationship and finally quitting my job a year or so later. I took some time to travel around a bit. I have travelled alone before, but this time I went travelling with a specific purpose: to get to know myself better and enjoy myself and relax. Traveling alone provides the opportunity for self-reflection and self-discovery. It allows you to step out of your comfort zone, face challenges and learn more about yourself. It can improve decision-making skills and help you become more self-reliant. During my travels I explored new places, met some amazing people, made some new friends and got to bond deeper with existing friends. I had so many different emotions during this time, the difference now was, I (mostly) knew how to deal with them.

I ended my travels by going back home to Curaçao. Where I had some difficult conversations with some loved ones. Conversations I had to have to be able to let go of some pent-up emotions. I enjoyed home on another level this time. I got the chance to enjoy it with a lighter heart and with a freer mind.

These couple of months were so necessary for my journey. I feel happier and I can definitely say that I have grown to love myself more.

I guess I want to end this blogpost encouraging you to go on a trip alone. In whatever state you are in life, it will definitely make a positive impact.