[WID0087] Guest Post by Kemuel: It’s My Birthday!

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! And as promised, here are some gems I picked up during previous years:

2019 – Just because you’re good to others doesn’t mean they’ll be good to you. Just because you love them doesn’t mean they’ll love you, and honestly…they’re not obligated to. A decent person would reciprocate sure, but a decent person would also not be expecting anything in return for their love.

2020 – If you want to be kind, instead of reciprocating, most people will push the limits of your boundaries by treating you as their doormat. Stand up for yourself. Kindly, if you have to.

2021 – The people you love may not celebrate your wins. It feels lonely, I get it. But have you celebrated yourself or did you just wallow in self-pity? Their actions don’t define your value – if no one is there for you, make sure you’re there for yourself. Make sure you’re loving on yourself.

2022 – Increase energy efficiency by eliminating the need to please people, especially those who do not care about you. Instead use that energy to love on those who love you and invest that time into making your dreams reality.

2023 – Don’t make a tough situation even harder by wallowing in self pity. Acknowledge the screwup, know you’re still valuable and deserving of love and move towards a better future.

2024 – Especially for the nice guys/girls out there, it’s noble to love unconditionally, but that doesn’t mean tolarating lack of reciprocity. Have a zero tolerance policy for halfassery of any sort.

2024 – You are entitled to setting your own boundaries. In the previous example, when somebody questions why you won’t bend yourself over backward for them, just say it’s a matter of personal policy.

2024 – Be very picky of the company you keep. Only spend real time with people that both build you up in some way, and with which you feel safe and at peace with.

2024 – Never believe words, only actions.

2024 – Believe your intuition.

2023 – God will put you in situations that challenges you, in order to build your character. Stop trying to pray it away and getting mad at God when things don’t go your way.

2024 – Your subconscious determines 95% of your behavior. Be very very very intentional about what you read, hear, see, the environments you expose yourself to and the company you keep.

2024 – Integrate your shadow. Do your own research for this one as it’s too long an explanation.

2023 – Attend to your inner child. Many of our toxic traits are actually wounds that were given to us during childhood. From the anxious or avoidant attachment styles to limerence (another fun one you’ll have to do your own Google search on). But with some work we can heal and grow bigger and stronger.

2024 – People only see what’s one the surface. They’ll mostly favor someone who seems happy and confident over someone who seems melancholic and quiet. Not taking into account that the former, being securely attached in childhood, put in zero effort to get there. And the latter, avoident due to childhood neglect, had to perform a herculean task only to get to where he is today. The lessons learnt through hardships, the wisdom, the character built are mere afterthoughts to those who only see skin deep. The lesson is two-fold, thinking is hard and people are selfish, can’t blame them for not psychoanalyzing you. On the other hand, here’s a thought: waste zero time with those who cannot or would not see your worth.