Here is a warm welcome to Suail. The one friend that began as a friend, turned into one of my God-sent-favors and is a sister to me today. We have known each other for over 17 years already and we have seen each other go through several phases of our life. One of my favorites so far is the Hashtag: #SuailMadeABaby. I still can’t believe she made one, a tiny mini version of herself. Love it! It’s been beautiful seeing her become the mother she is today. The perfect mother to Moshé and his future sibling(s) that only she can be. Love you, Suail. And welcome to now being a regular Guest Blogger on Tashmness too.
I’m going to start off by saying how grateful I am that I get to be on Tashmyn’s blog website! Thank you for this amazing opportunity to share my W.I.D. story.
Just a little intro about myself, my name is Suail Fabros, I was born on the beautiful Island of Curaçao and moved 4 years ago to Los Angeles, California. My husband and I felt the calling of God on our lives and we moved 3 months ago to Parrish a city in Florida to start a church. But that’s another story in itself and I would love to share more on that but I’ll save that story for another blogpost 🙂
But for now, here’s the story about my beautiful journey into motherhood.
It all started when I found out that I was going to be a mother in December 2020. It was not a surprise, because my husband and I already started planning on starting a family and of course I had already started preparing myself mentally for it. So I thought.. My son just turned one on August 31st, 2022 and it’s been quite a journey.
As I think about my journey, for some odd reason, I visualized a wave crashing into the peaceful shore. I then thought to myself, let me read more into how a wave is formed, what’s the process.
“Waves are actually energy passing through the water, causing it to move in a circular motion. Wind blows causing a disturbance”
A disturbance that creates beautiful waves. Waves that can crash harshly but waves that some enjoy the sound of. Some could sit hours at the beach and just watch waves form and crash. The beauty of sitting at the beach and watch these waves is that you know that you are safe at the shore. You know that they will crash and calm down. Still the impact can cause awe.
To be frank being a mother is NOT easy. Yes, it is a beautiful journey, but not an easy one.
Some women are more natural in the maternal instinct, especially if you were raised around babies and little kids. I didn’t grow up around babies or kids and I was never someone that told myself “I can’t wait to be a mother” or “I would love to have kids one day”. So at 28 when I became a mother, the maternal instincts didn’t really flow right away. In the first few months, the baby would wake up a lot during the night. I was basically sleep deprived for months and I just kept going and going. That made me weak physically and from being so tired all the time, I started having anxious thoughts.
I had to anchor myself to God even when I had no energy or the time to really be in His presence. I would try to talk to God when I was busy doing everything else. But I so desperately needed to just talk to Him, even when I wasn’t able to get alone time of prayer. Jesus had to become my closest friend all over again. The waves started crashing into my mind, into my heart and body. They came in fast and without a doubt, they shook the shore. I could only stand on God’s promise, that the waves can toss but that the Lord has placed the sand, shore as a boundary.
Jeremiah 5:22 – “‘Do you not fear Me?’ declares the Lord. ‘Do you not tremble in My presence? For I have placed the sand as a boundary for the sea, an eternal decree, so it cannot cross over it. Though the waves toss, yet they cannot prevail; Though they roar, yet they cannot cross over it.”
My mind got hit with; “You do not know enough to be a mother” and “you won’t have time for yourself anymore”. My heart got hit with lack of patience, getting irritated and anxious easily. I was so uncomfortable in my own body and my body felt like it wasn’t mine. These are just a few examples of anxious thoughts that would come to my mind.
Psalm 89:8-9 – “You, LORD, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you. You rule over the surging sea; when its waves mount up, you still them.”
The Lord was there with me through all my thoughts, all anxieties and all my insecurities. He would calm the waging waves and He was always right on time.
Study shows neurological changes to a woman’s brain when she becomes a mother and those are inevitable but I’m learning to strengthen my mind with God’s Word, so that my emotions don’t overwhelm me. When I feel like I’m not doing a good “job” as a mom, I look at my son and how he shows affection with his little kiss and hugs, and I am comforted, knowing that I’m learning to be a mom and it’s ok to give myself grace. When anxious thoughts come to my mind, I ask myself, are these true, are these thoughts building me up in any way? When I feel insecure about myself, I remind myself that I am loved by my Heavenly Father and that is enough. I’m learning that the waves in my mind are going to form and crash but God calms them down.
Psalm 94:19 – “In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.”
I encourage you and I encourage myself, stand on God’s Word, pray it over your life, write it down, hang it up in your room or even listen to the audio Bible. Do whatever you need to do, to remind yourself of God’s promises. Do whatever you need to do, to exchange anxious thoughts for His loving thoughts.
Marketing Coordinator & Work-from-home-mom
Lives in: USA