When a season in life comes when it feels harder to handle things or more bad circumstances come around, as human beings, we are generated to start losing faith in the One that is always by our side.
This year I lived to say: “Don’t worry, God is in control!”
This year I prayed: “Thank you God because You are in control! Please let me remember this every time I feel lost or lose hope.”
This year a lot of change happened, and I felt lost most of the time. As I finished my degree, I felt lost because three years had passed, and I didn’t know what I was going to do next. As I started to track my life again after my degree, I felt lost because life seemed to have no meaning and I was in a job that wasn’t good for me. Then everything crumbled into nothing. I spent almost two months inside my new house, feeling like I had no home, feeling depressed and looking for a job with no hope.
I’m different than most Christians. We, as people, tend to go to God mostly when things are bad or out of our favor. In contrary, when bad times come, I try to hide from God, I want to be left alone and when things brighten up, I run to God to thank Him and tell Him all about how the light at the end of the tunnel came back.
As I finished my degree, my internship started and that brought a new feeling of hope and “this is what I want to do for the rest of my life”. I felt so excited to start my life. I had that feeling that you see in the movies of “I’m starting my life now”, which, let me tell you, from someone that just went and is going through that.. it’s a very weird phase! Then my internship ended, and I left my other job and the plans that I had made out of those two crumbled down and I felt, once again, lost! Life had, once again, lost meaning. I couldn’t keep my room tidy as usual, I couldn’t serve my church and ministry, I couldn’t lead those that needed me, and I couldn’t handle my relationship or my emotions.
I felt lost and guilty of putting all my eggs in that basket, as one would say. So, I tried to hide from God. Which I learned from a childhood song: is literally impossible. But I tried to anyway. And as I felt I was living the same day all over again, loosing control and faith, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper very lightly in me every day for a month and half: “I’m in control, rest your soul”.
But the light at the end of the tunnel comes back always, well it is always there, even when the tunnel gets so long that you barely see the light.
I could not write that you need to have hope and look for the light at the end of the tunnel every living moment, because then I would be a hypocrite which at this moment of my life is something that the Holy Spirit is working in me. So, I’ll give you one piece of advice that I try to follow whenever a bad season comes ahead: there is never such a thing as a bad season. And yes, I know how that’s probably making you angry, as it makes me!
A new season in life is always perceived as we look at it. When we feel lost or out of reality it’s easier to look at that time in life through the lenses of those emotions and feelings, as when we feel the happiest and living the most, we look at that season as a season of great new things. But we can never define one season depending on how one part of our life is going.
You can define your 20s as “starting your life” but you cannot let the weird bad phases define that season. Don’t let one bad moment in your relationship define it. Don’t let one bad outturn in your career define it entirely. Just live it all, enjoy the most of every moment and every season, trust that God is in control and fight to not take the control back!
Writer, Student, Marketer
Lives in: Portugal