Two weeks ago, as I’m writing this text, I was in my boyfriend’s parents’ house talking to my boyfriend’s dad about my life and how difficult it was being to find a job and how the impact of my last two jobs had impacted me. It was a fragile and emotional moment, especially to talk about it, I was devastated for a whole month in my house just, literally, sending out resumes and emails.

The search continued lasting and difficult and as I saw one of my friends find a job so much faster, I started to question myself as I was in the middle of the process. I went deep into anxiety and moments of depression as I couldn’t get out of bed or find the courage to text my friends. And how hard it was just to sit in front of my computer to try to do some of my work.

Reading became miserable as TV shows became everything. My relationship with God went into pieces as everything seemed touched by the last miserable experience I was going through. I was letting it become my whole life — those miserable feelings and emotions became my whole.

I would be proud to say I overcame this moment of my life by going back to God, reading the Bible and talking to the Holy Spirit, but I felt ashamed to even pray as much to speak in tongues. Going to church became routine instead of the desire to be with God and with my family.

I would be proud to say I trusted the whole process in God.

But I can’t. I can say I’m proud that I was able to process and see what was going on during the whole situation, I was able to see and analyse my reactions and not only act but understand why I was acting the way I was. I was able to look back and understand I hadn’t healed from the situation I went through during the summer quite as I had thought and told people about.

From the hundreds of emails and resumes I sent, two companies called: a restaurant and an HR firm. Let’s start by saying I wasn’t very excited about the restaurant because of my previous experience but I went to the interview.

As I walked to the restaurant, I felt the need to pray over my interview, it came out of nowhere. I felt the Holy Spirit call me out and remind me that I had more power in Him than in whatever I could say in the interview. I could set the future before even entering the place. I pray, which looking back, a very simple but a “heartful” prayer. The interview got moved as I waited for it at the restaurant and I came back after again and I did it. And as I walked out of the restaurant after the interview, I felt secure and just proud that I was able to do it. I padded myself in the back for it. And as I walked back home that night I prayed again “God, if it is from you, let it be for me”.

I left class two days later and right after I get a call from a number I didn’t know, and as I talked to my boyfriend right at that moment, I said to him: “At this hour? I’m not answering no way”. But a couple of minutes after, again, the Holy Spirit spoke. Simple and light words: “Try to call the number. It will be good”. And with no excitation, I called. My, now, manager answered and told me “You got it. Come Tomorrow to start working.” I was out of words. One second I was going crazy and the next second, I had a job, the very next day.

Here in the Algarve, specifically in Faro, which is not the most touristic city here, restaurants hiring people during winter is crazy to think about. But here I am, writing this, after a week of working and a decision between the restaurant and me to stay there. A decision that is not only good for me but pays as much as I was expecting and in need and gives me good things such as discounts and support. And a manager that could listen to me and give me a day off to be able to go and be with my crew and Sundays morning off to go to church. Praise be to God!

All this to say, “When you look back and only see two feet on the sand, it’s because God is carrying you” is not just a phrase. Many of us live in situations that show that. I encourage you to share yours and let God use your testimony to work wonders in other people’s lives.

Rebeca Silva

Writer, Student, Marketer
Instagram: @__becas__
Blog: http://www.lyricsfromagirl.blogspot.pt
Lives in: Portugal

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