The idea of finding love and happiness is quite a hustle, I mean now that I have been thinking about it over and over again. Trust me I wasn’t bothered about it, I managed to keep the thoughts at bay. Most of the time I’m occupied with my work, which actually shields me from the outside lifestyle, as in socializing and making new friends. Yestermorning I rather decided to say Hi in the family group on Whatsapp. My worst fear was to be asked if I’m happy with the current state in life. And just as I feared, my aunt asked what happened to Angela? And that was a good thing, but after college, on and off it had become an infectionship. That’s when I knew I was toxic too.

It had to stop and honestly I figured I was becoming bitter. That’s how it is when you be giving more than you can give yourself. You start to expect the same and when it doesn’t happen you become judgemental and a control freak at some point. But I’m glad I met her and that any of the relationship counted, otherwise I got bad luck with love. Not that I have a lot to give. But in my experience they have taken more from me, every time a piece of my myself and I understand why some become suicidal with love.

It hit different for me though. I figured if the women in my life took from me, that would mean I’m a provider. And those that take are in need, in need of differences, healing, etc. And some have never been loved before and so I’m glad I was there to make them feel loved and cared for. Even though I struggled to get or be loved I ended up sharing the little I had.

But the question is, was it ever little or am I just as blind as those that only take?

Mwenecho Botha

IT technician, photographer
Instagram: @smil3yn3cho
Lives in: Malawi

2 thoughts on “[WID0022] Guest Post by Mwenecho: Blind or Bold?

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