Are You Sure God?

Yesterday morning I woke up and after a couple of thoughts passed on in my head I started to feel a bit irritated. Irritated, with a combination of ‘rushed’ and ‘pissed’. I just realized how injustice was being performed right in front of my eyes. Not at that literal moment, but in a situation happening around me. I know, very vage. But at this moment I can’t share too much yet. The point is: injustice was being done, by one tiny party to a bigger party. And very cheekily in our faces. Not sure if they think we’re stupid or if they just don’t care. So I started to think what to say to them, how to approach the situation and “slap them back in their faces”. They are not allowed to win like this, I thought, this is not OK. I mean, who is a fan of injsutice? Of unfairness? By this time the rush in my head had become a mess, clutter and my peace was gone. I didn’t enjoy that. I wasn’t feeling right so the first thing I then thought was Prayer. And after that Discipline and Obedience. Because I still want God’s will to be done and not mine. And mine sometimes acts too quickly, which leaves me with my own tail in my mouth.

So I did my prayer, “God please show me what to do. Do I even say something?” Thinking in the back of my head, “but probably I should right?” I continued praying, “..even if You want me to say nothing and wait and allow it to continue..” I paused for a second and pressed my lips on each other, as if they are pressing down words that need filtering.. and then I let go and said, “I will Lord.. I will stay quiet and say nothing. But if You do want me to say something, then I will and then please show me what to say.”

I finished my prayer, tried to relax my head, my mind, the rush in my brain and I start Day 5 of the devotional “Make Space For What Matters: 5 Spiritual Habits for Lent” that I am doing on the Bible App. Lent has passed two weeks ago or so, but here we are, reading it at its perfect timing.

Day 5: Spiritual Habits – Stillness
Through stillness, we learn to pay attention to what God is doing in us and around us. But stillness is both active and passive. It involves allowing God to refocus our vision and tune our ears to His voice while we give Him the noise inside us. It requires surrendering our worries, concerns, and problems to God while allowing Him to refocus our hearts on Him. 

As we practice this spiritual habit, we become more equipped to give God glory for His power at work in our lives because we start to notice what God has already been doing in our lives. 

Action Step: Get away for a few hours this week and practice giving God whatever concerns come to mind. It’s okay if you have to do this repeatedly for a while. Just use this time to silence the noise inside you and get into the habit of making space to hear God’s voice. 

I close my eyes and try to meditate for a bit. A couple of seconds, trying to blank my mind. Keep it quiet, keep the rush of injustice out.. and I continue reading, but now the verses that come with the devotional..

Exodus‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭[HCSB‬‬] – “The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet.”

“So… I say nothing? I sit this one out? I do nothing and wait on You, correct? Is that what You’re saying Lord?” And I start to laugh. How can I still question an answer so clear!! My goodness, have you had this too? Why are we like that? God gives us His answer, right away even! We prayed and asked and we received right away and what do we do? We question if that’s really the answer. Are you sure God? And I go to the next verse..

Psalms‬ ‭37:7‬ ‭[HCSB]‬‬ – “Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him; do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way, by the man who carries out evil plans.”

And He goes even in more detail. Precisely what is happening. I am agitated about this situation, that the other party is getting so much out of this and that they don’t work justly.
“Don’t be agitated”.

“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him.” Be silent and wait, Tashmyn. Wait expectantly. You don’t have to let it go, but you wait, you wait expectantly. The Lord will always come through. He fights for us. He fights for justice, He does not enjoy the unjust. We’re on the same team and He is the captain. So trust, let go of the ball, pass it back to your trainer, to God and watch Him do what makes Him the captain of the team. Watch, while you see why He is who He is.

Peace. My heart is at peace. My brain is at peace. There are birds flying and singing again in there. I’m wondering what I should prepare for my next meal again. The rush has passed and everything is still. Thank You Father.

Last verses the devotional brought:

‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:38-42‬ [‭HCSB]‬‬ – “While they were traveling, He entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.””

So, what next? While I sit and wait, I enjoy. I enjoy my time with God. I keep my focus on Him and write and share as I do now. I continue my devotionals, my prayers and sermons. And I continue being Tashmyn to people around me, to the world outside, a representer of Christ.

May God’s peace be with you too today.