[WID0040] Guest Post by Rebeca: Our Roots Don’t Define Us

Please welcome the other adopted daughter, Rebeca. Also known as “Rebeca with a C”. At least that’s how she is known to me, among many other titles I’ve heard people call her. She is beautiful inside and out, has lovely flowers growing out her head and shows a delightful example of how to love like Christ. I believe her C in Rebeca stands for Cares. She Cares, immensely, deeply and wholely. I am very excited to start this journey with her, for starting today she is now also one of the regular Guest Bloggers on Tashmness! You’ll be able to read her pieces every month or so. You can also read many more on her own blog. Enjoy!

Welcome, Thank you and Love you Rebeca❤️

I grew up Christian. My earliest memories are in church, but the families around me didn’t fit the “Christian perfect family”. My childhood best friend’s parents got divorced when we were kids, my godmother and godfather left the church when I was a kid and got divorced when I was a teenager and many of the closest friends my parents had left the church one after the other. Year after year. Whenever one of these situations seemed to happen or concluded on itself, I was always very heart-broken, as anyone would be. First it is always sad to see any person, especially the ones you love, leave the church, and see families be broken. But now-a-days I see all of this as a teaching.

There is this concept around Christianity that everything is perfect, and I grew up being taught that exact mindset – marriage is always good, family always has perfect relationships, church is always good, and the list could go on. But what I learned was that that’s not the case.

My parents always had a very difficult relationship and that resulted in me having a difficult relationship with both. I was always expectant of the day the word “separation” or “divorce” would come around – I was sure sooner or later it would happen, because I had seen couples and families break up with, what seemed, less. I’m now 21 years old and by the Grace of God my parents are still together, and our family is getting stronger than I’ve ever seen it.

What I had learned during my childhood had always conflicted me – how can marriage be sacred and perfect if I had seen my childhood best friend have a depression for years? Another question that always seemed to appear was: is my future going to be like that, with that mindset? Or will it be like what I had experienced and seen? And so, 15-year-old Rebeca was in love but had already decided not to get married.

It is funny how God works His Love into our lives without us even noticing sometimes until afterwards. When I was 13, my father left the church. The pastor’s kid, that had been in the ministry and serving since he was 8. Soon after that my mother also lost the habit. I continued to go – mostly out of comfort and friendships, but soon after I turned 14, God told me that that place was no longer my home and it was a difficult process with a lot of tears and unresolved attached strings, but I stopped going. The habit went away. I could be the kid that slept until late on Sundays – which I had never been, so it wasn’t that late, haha. But every Sunday, I would go say hi to my father and he would be in his office watching a preaching – now that was a faith I couldn’t understand! My father had been hurt, he didn’t leave the church because God hadn’t answered a prayed, he left the church because of its wrongdoings.

And then one Sunday in a bright arriving spring, my parents woke me up and asked me if I wanted to go to church – oh my I was soooo trilled! I tried on a couple hundred of outfits and there I went to a new house, a new start! I know that it isn’t like this for most people, but I felt home the minute I started worshiping in that schools’ little theatre.

So the base here is that whatever you lived and went through, that is not who you are. The situations and your life story don’t define you and your core – God does! My mom and dad are working through their problems – there was a time when divorce was a possibility – but I always heard my father say that his marriage was the most important part of his life, he had made a decision and he was going to live throughout it even if it hurt, and darn did it and does it hurt still sometimes. I never thought I would have a solid relationship, with all the examples I had. That was not a possibility for me – I was darn sure – but here I am!

I have been watching how God’s Love and prayer have been changing the situation around my family. For all the times people told me to pray about it and I wouldn’t hear – well I’m sorry and thanks for your advice –, I just didn’t have the faith as a broken teenager to be able to see this through. But I’m so thankful that I am now seeing my parents love each other, heal little by little and be able to have a relationship with them that doesn’t revolve around the past!

A lot of times, God’s miracles don’t need to be like David and Goliath. It would help. But sometimes they are like Hannah, where it’s a battle for many to see happening but all will see the outcome and be affected when they hear the testimony after!

So, our roots don’t define us, God has a purpose for every stage and season and He will use it, if you let him, to help others. And, remember, what we learned along the way is always a good thing to keep in mind!