It was a random Tuesday morning. The night before was tough. I couldn’t sleep and woke up long before the sun even rose. I felt and knew I was anxious — about something that I couldn’t even remember. It was the middle of my Devotional Challenge, so I decided to use the time I gained because of the lack of sleep and make my devotional time a little bit longer. Just as decided, is as I did.

The Holy Spirit and the Word of God are the most beautiful ways that God uses to set my heart free of anxiety. Weirdly, even with that time with Him that day, I still felt anxiety in me. I was devastated. I wasn’t blaming God and I was thinking bad things about the situation. But I felt unheard and untouched by the Holy Spirit.

So I decided to take a shower — the second best thing to do when anxious. For me at least. Feel the water running on my body, feel the sensation, feel the temperature, and disconnect from my inside feelings by reconnecting my brain through the sensation of the water on me. So I did. Just to discover that I had no hot water. I felt like I could scream I could punch the wall or just give up on my entire day right at that moment. I was devastated. Again. And I started to wonder what was going on. Questions popped in my head — why did the hot water had to run out at that moment? Why was I having an anxiety attack and what was it related to?

I started praying in tongues and screaming. Screaming sooo much, my facial muscles hurt and my head was ringing but no noise whatsoever was coming out of me. The water started to feel like fire on my skin. I couldn’t believe what was happening until out of nowhere the words: “anxiety has no more power over me, the chains are broken and the devil cannot use this over my life ever again” come out of my mouth. I couldn’t believe what I was saying. A miracle happened right there, in the middle of my bathroom, alone under cold freezing water I was being released from a generational chain that I had over my life for years and years that had caused me so much pain and hurt — physical, emotional, and mental.

And from that point on I was released from panic attacks, anxiety attacks, anxiety sensations, and panic scares.

This had been something that had made me freeze in some of the most hurting and also the most exciting moments of my life. In elementary school, through sleeping paralysis, through sleepless nights. In high school, messing with family and relationships. In college, in church, and even in serving God and following His path for me. Literally every area of my life had been touched at several points by this horrible weapon of the devil. And I cannot put into words how it is being set free by the blood of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. And how it is living free of it all.

I had never thought it was possible for this to happen. I almost thought I would live forever with it. Even knowing that Jesus had set me free, that He had died for me to be set free. Even when reading passages like when Jesus explained that the burden is lighter in Him and reading about how every disease is something we can be free from and be healed of through Him. I never thought it was possible. For me it was something that I had lived with. As if it was a part of me or like it belonged to me.

And can you believe I haven’t shared this with anyone? God did a miracle. He changed my life and I kept it to and for myself. But miracles happen every day because God is always moving. He never stops changing lives and transforming situations — medical, relational, and every other kind.

Rebeca Silva

Writer, Student, Marketer
Instagram: @__becas__
Lives in: Portugal

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