I thought this was my first time camping or “summercamping”, but I actually went to an end of the school year camp when I was 11 years old. We went by bicycle, it was the Netherlands with its menopausal weather, we were expected not to shower every day and were told to bring long socks to prevent being bit by ticks to not get Lyme disease. So yeah, different story. Thiiis time, I went to Jesus camp as dear Chloé calls it and it was amazing. Every single part of it. It was in Portugal, where the sun shines over 300 days a year, we went by car and we were told to bring Snacks! And you know that’s my love language. The snacks were actually also the only things I bought and prepared days before. The rest I packed the night before. Makes sense, right?
On July 28th I wrote about my metamorphosis on how on that day I asked God for forgiveness for lacking faith in Him. That was my realization that my words, repeatedly saying how I trust Him, didn’t reflect on my actions anymore. God has been working on me and in me ever since. Daily. And over and over again I got trained how to face another challenge. On Friday the 9th of September, while watching the movie War Room with my connect group, I learn to start fighting my battles on my knees. Properly, laying down my fight at His feet. Making that fight, now His. Completely allowing God to be my Provider.
So we went to camp on Thursday the 15th of September, precisely seven weeks after the metamorphosis. And I had been going through a challenge of waiting for weeks to receive a payment which would allow me to pay some things off and most importantly pay my rent that month (which was due on the 16th of September). The night before camp I was pondering if I should call and kindly request the person to pay me as soon as possible. I prayed about it, went to bed and woke up the next morning still pondering. But this time the determined remembrance of my promise made to God last week popped in my head. Enough! I went down on my knees and placed the battle at His feet. Trusting Him in my actions. Not contacting the person, continuing the day in faith and trusting that He will provide.
A couple of hours later and we’re about halfway into our 4-hour drive to the camp. I receive a Whatsapp message from my stepmother saying they received much more back from the tax department than they expected and would like to share part of that money with their children. The amount, with only a difference of 10,- euros, was the exact price of my rent. God had provided and I was overwhelmed. I did that high pitched yell I do when I get excited and then teared up, holding down the floodgates of opening. And I was strong: I managed to sniff my tears up through my nose.
On the next day after having breakfast I hoped we’d get some fruit, just because that’s normally how I start my day, but we didn’t. And somehow it wasn’t part of my 8-piece snack pack I brought with me. So on our way to our Crew Time moment I was talking to Cris, one of the girls from my room, and I was saying that later I would go and check if the little shop of the camp sold fruit. While explaining my morning food routine, I turn my head and see a little apple under a tiny tree. I say, “Look! An apple!”. I laugh, we laugh and I just can’t take the smile of my face. “Thank You, God”. I sit down and still can’t stop smiling. Once again I am overwhelmed. I am full. I softly laugh again and Cris looks at me. I take my eyes off the apple, look at Cris and say: “it didn’t even look like an apple tree. Haha”. To what she responds: “indeed it did not”.
After that I find more fruit, share with the rest and then we even get fruit served in abundance at lunch time. I also find that the camp has many other fruit trees. My heart and for sure my stomach and fruit saturation is full.
Exodus 16:12 [HCSB] – “At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will eat bread until you are full. Then you will know that I am Yahweh your God.”
So then came the third and last day. During our last session together, a session of prayer, praise and worship, I stayed at one of the back rows with Cris and Andrea (another roommate). Nearing the end of that Holy-Spirit-fire-filled session I see a girl leaving her row, about 8 rows in front of me. We briefly share eye contact and I continue to look and praise forward. She walks down the aisle between the rows towards us, and I didn’t notice, but she enters at our row. She ticks me on my back, I turn to her and she hands me a drawing; orange, purple and black crayoned in the middle. It’s a baby in a womb. “I saw you as a baby”. She says, in English, not even Portuguese. The first two seconds and a half I’m flabbergasted, I let it sink and then I burst into tears as she reaches out to hug me.
She tells me how God wants to take care of me, provide for me and spoil me. She turns the drawing and shows me the text she wrote. The perfect words God has given her to write. The intimate words God wanted me to read, to know, to feel. A love letter from God. From Yahweh. The Creator of the Universe also the Creator of me. My Father, my Provider. Jehovah Jireh. He took His time to write me a letter. He took His time to draw me this beautiful piece. To me? I am nothing in this world, I’m an ant, a grain of sand, in this universe, just a molecule. What difference could I make. Why me? Why would He want to take His time for me. Take His time to touch my heart, to warm it up and hold it close to His.
Because He is Who He alone is. He is God, Yahweh, Lord, Creator, Father, Friend ánd Provider. He is who He is and He chose to Love me. To take care of me and to delight in me. In the details of my life. I mean who else to give a baby in a womb drawing to, than the love-for-profession-midwife that makes calculations by using the duration of a pregnancy. The midwife who daily finds wonder in the human body, beauty in the creation, the perfection, the details. Me that loves art, in drawings, in texts, poems, pieces, love letters. Who else to give this perfect piece to, but me. To Tashmyn alone. From God alone. Perfectly fitted to my interests and the lesson I am going through right now. I thank You, Father, Friend and Spirit. I thank You.
Once again, I feel full. But this time, overflowing. I feel like if I even see a single butterfly fluttering in front of me, I would burst into tears again. The floodgates are open!
Summercamp has been a huge fuel drop. Fuel poured on the fire lit within me. Being inspired and motivated by other youngsters. Seeing the world struggling to survive within us. Seeing chains broken, letting that world go. It’s been fuel poured on my fire-lit-soul by being fed the word, the presence and the love of God for 3 consecutive days.
I thank you Hillsong for providing this. Thank you, Rebekah and Vítor for asking me repeatedly if I’m going. Thank you Cris, Andrea, Klaus, Thársila, Bruna, Gabi, Rebekah with a Kappa & Rebeca with a C for doing and sharing life with me these three days. Thank you Tânia for your creativity, obeying God and doing your part. See you all next year again.
Philippians 4:19 [HCSB] – And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Tashmness. 
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